Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't think brook has ever known best
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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