I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
