so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
