All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
