come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think your dad took our porno
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
