Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
