Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
