so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
