Already got asked if we're dating
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
