Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
