Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
