is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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