I could have mohawked her pubes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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