Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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