is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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