it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
