Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
