I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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