even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
