Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
