they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
