No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
