something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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