This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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