Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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