i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
