have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
