I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if only i could text you this smell
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
