Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
