Only a mothe r could love this liver
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
