the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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