this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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