That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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