Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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