4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
