Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
