im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
this hospital has no fireball
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
