i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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