Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think my moral compass just broke
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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