i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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