Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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