my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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