The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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