Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
