I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
