Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
