Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
