Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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