Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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