I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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