that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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