i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
