"it" just moved
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
