i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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