how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
