Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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