Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
