I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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