With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
