Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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