How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
