laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
