Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
